Satire: Emma Watson getting interviewed for a software development position

[Shlomi Fish]

Hi all,

in this URL:

http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/Emma-Watson-applying-for-a-software-dev-job/

you can find a short satire titled “Emma Watson getting interviewed for a
software development position” under the CC-by-sa licence.

In case you don't know, Watson is https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emma_Watson
- a
1990 born British actress and model, who rose to fame playing Hermione in
the
Harry Potter films, and [quoting from the Wikipedia page] «In October 2013,
she
was voted Sexiest Female Movie Star in a worldwide poll conducted by Empire
magazine.[7] In May 2014, BuzzFeed dubbed her the "most flawless woman of
the
decade".».

Now the question is: does she has what it takes to work as a Java Enterprise
Software developer… ;-)

I also quoted the plaintext version below. Share and enjoy!

Regards,

    Shlomi Fish

====================================

<s id="EmWatson-interview-main" title="Emma Watson getting interviewed for
a software developer job.">

[
This is satire and did not actually take place.

The year is 2014. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emma_Watson">Emma
Watson</a> - a British actress who rose to fame after playing Hermione
Granger
in the Harry Potter films - just graduated from Brown University with a
degree
in English Literature. She decides to take a break from acting and find a
temporary job as a software developer. Here is an interview conducted with
her.
]

<s id="EmWatson-interview-text" title="Transcript">

Interviewer: Hello Ms. Watson, your résumé indicates that you are
underqualified for a job here at Foobarbaznix Enterprise Software
Enterprises,
but we decided to give you a chance anyway. So why do you think we should
hire
you?

EmWatson: Well, to be frank, I'm trying to get a lower-profile job now, to
take a break after graduating from Brown University with a degree in English
Literature, and I figured out learning how to code properly may prove to be
a useful skill in this day and age.

Interviewer: English Literature, eh? What makes you think you are better
than
all the Comp. Sci. grads we are hiring.

EmWatson: Well, reportedly <a href="
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edsger_W._Dijkstra">Dijkstra</a>
said that good programming requires good writing and reading skills, and
that
he prefers hiring students of English and other humane subjects over
students
of Computer Science, Mathematics or Electrical Engineering, because they
tend
to write better code.

Interviewer: So you've heard about Dijkstra, eh? "GOTO Statement Considered
Harmful!", hah, hah!

EmWatson: Well, that “considered harmful” choice of title was unfortunate
(and selected by Dijkstra’s editor), and he did not mean that GOTO should
never be used. So please do not take take it as gospel.

Interviewer: OK, back on topic: how much experience do you have in
developing
enterprise software?

EmWatson: Not a lot, but I wrote some shell/Perl/Ruby/Python/etc. scripts,
know
how to make a good use of my smartphone and home computer, and have done
some
simple HTML, CSS and JavaScript / jQuery / etc. web pages, and I know the
basics of how to use Git and GitHub (but I'm certainly not an expert in
them).

Interviewer: So you don't have 5 years of experience in developing Java
enterprise software?

EmWatson: I'm afraid not, sir.

Interviewer: OK. Here's another thing: why do you wish to become a low-paid
(for some values of low-paid) hired programmer, when it is well-known that
you charge an obscene amount of money for each film you take part in?

EmWatson: Well, to paraphrase on the old Hollywood adage: “There are no
small jobs - only small workers.”. A good and resourceful person will make
the best out of even the least esteemed job, like the fact that a good
waitress or waitor are friendly, express interest in the customers, take
their job seriously, are well-groomed, and show genuine interest in the
business.

EmWatson: While I wouldn't object to work at a restaurant or a different
place that sells decent-or-better food, I think that I can learn much more
by
becoming a coder. And like I said - I need a break.

Interviewer: I see… OK, next question, Ms. Watson: as you may well be aware
of you starred in the 8 Harry Potter films, despite the fact that they were
criticised as being bad. Why did you persist?

EmWatson: Well, there are several reasons, but the main one is that for an
actor, it is better to play well (or even not so well) in a bad film, than
to not play at all. ”Publish or Perish”, like they say, which is also true
for the Academia, and, as you may well know, for the software world.

Interviewer: I see. Well we pride ourselves on releasing industrial-strength
and high-quality enterprise software.

EmWatson: I see. OK, I think I've heard enough. I'm not going to work for
you
even for a thousand million dollars per month. I got a different offer from
a
nice consulting company as a Python/shell/Perl/etc. coder (you could say
“code
monkey”). While the monthly wage is not spectacular, it seems like a decent
place to work while I'm taking a break from acting and modelling.

Interviewer: Fair enough, Ms. Watson, it was an interesting interview.

EmWatson: That's one way to put it. I think I'll go around your offices now,
asking if anyone wants a signed photograph, to take a photo of me and them
together, or just to chat a little.

Interviewer: I guess that would be acceptable. Just make it quick.

</s>

</s>

-- 
------------------------------------------
Shlomi Fish http://www.shlomifish.org/

Chuck Norris helps the gods that help themselves.

Please reply to list if it's a mailing list post - http://shlom.in/reply .
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://mailman.cs.huji.ac.il/pipermail/linux-il/attachments/20140619/4ada7d13/attachment-0001.html>